Why?

I just dont know why it seem to me like Im tortured by you,surrounded by harsh words.Cant you show me love?Even just a little?Everything changed.You were not like this.I never felt so useless,hated and emotionally disturbed before this.Was it because of mother?Mother loved me.She loved me so dearly.Never to be embraced by such warmth and loving arms anymore.Only to see pain,endless screams and never a loving face.Am I such a nuisence to you?Did I ever hurt you?Then why do you pain me so?I just wish that you'd leave me to my peace.I know you have your own burden but please dont include me in it.I am only mother's,no one else.Mother showed me so much affection that could not be replaced so easily.No,never to be replaced.My love for mother is beyond everything.I have change.I am not a little girl anymore but it doesnt mean that I'd go selling myself off to any perverted guy just to fulfill my desires.I'm not like that,you have known me since I was born but you still dont know me.I would never betray my family and put my family's name to shame.Why would I?Wouldnt I be in shame to?Do you think I'd like that?Is it so wrong to talk with guys?Is it so wrong to hang with them?I wouldnt get pregnant if I stand near them.Might as well lock me up in this place and never to see male species again and I'd forget how they look like and I wont be interested in marrying anyone when I turn into an adult.Wouldnt it be strange for a normal teenage to be not interested in guys at all?I'd say that person must have something wrong with her hormones and in the end not growing healthly.My existance isnt something you actually cherish but you could at least let me be.You are not Mother and you will never be mother because how she treats me and how you treat me have a large difference.I dont need money if I have love.I wont suffer.Nothing to think about.

Ok Im done here.Yup,just typing out my feelings.

"I only want to hear your thoughts,your own words.Not them."

XOXO

Shafs G.Camui